At home things are not improving obviously. The tension is accumulating between all the members of the family. The tensions used to be between the parents and the children. Now everyone seems to be upset with everyone, including the parents between them. It is particularly my mother who feels more and more isolated and she is panicking. Nobody but her know precisely why or what her problem is.
Sometimes, there are peaks in the tensions leading to arguments going out of control. The day before yesterday my was looking to create tension with me, perhaps to pull out information from me. She has been pressuring my father to have me ship in to cover the expenses of the household.
For a while, I knew that she was going to start discussions with me about money, ever since she was brooding about whether or not to give me the parcel which a credit company had sent to me, last fall. She decided to give it to me on New Year’s eve, and perhaps when she actually began to need money so much. Otherwise, I may have never seen the bank card, I think. I saw the problem coming, and perhaps also as a way to cause me to leave the house (if I can’t pay).
My mother learned about certain things which I wrote in the various blogs about her and perhaps also about Ina. She notably heard that I learned from my father that she is jealous of me because her father didn’t send her to school (from Allah Ghaleb manuscript). As my mother can’t read, Ina is telling her what she wants her to believe. So she is twisting the information and using this for setting her up against me.
I think she was hurt that my father informed me about her. In fact she was hurt that he actually talks to me behind her back, that he is telling to me what he thinks of her. She doesn’t like that, she tries to control the contact I have with my father inside the house, because she tells to him anything about me that she wants him to believe. I have no clue what she tells him. All I know now, is that she is the one who instigates the fights I have had in the past with him, and which caused my brother and me to move out, in order to find the peace of mind for working on our goals.
In the heated conversation, my mother turned around the roles and accused me that I said this to my father. I didn’t deny or confirm anything. “I see you have been prepared by Ina again”, I said, because she was with Ina Valstar that morning before we had the discussion. “Leave Ina alone and mind your business”, she shouted like a Gestapo. I was about to tell her to tell Ina to leave my life alone, but I was not seeking to extend the conversation with her.
Upon this I said to her “you should leave Ina or you will be caught together with her, if you are not careful starting from now”. This is without telling her what precisely I know about Miss Valstar. “If you are in trouble, I am not going to help you whatoever”, I said, “you have been putting sticks in the wheels for practically everything in my life, and afterwards you complain that I didn’t make it… Don’t expect me to help you out now”.
I think I was right on target with the words that I used. It was like I hit her right in the heart, through which she couldn’t utter any more words. She can’t ask money to me, because she shut all the doors for me by informing Ina Valstar about every detail, like whether my hair was done or not, whether I have new shoes, and who the friends are in my life, what my relationship is with the landlady, which products or toothpaste I use. My mother was functioning like the bad eye inside the house for preventing my luck. How could I escape ? She ignores what the extent is of her venom on the whole family.
The bank card which was sent to me troubles her mind a lot on whether I have money or not. Instead of asking money directly from me, she figured out another way of getting it, which is to get me to help pay for the household. “Your father is strained and he needs help”, she reproached me, but I know that too and wish I could help him sooner. She is the one who doesn’t care about my father if all she does is lying to him about his children. That is worse than being unable to help out financially. So, she wants me to open my purse, so that she can get the difference from my father in one way or another. He is more than 72 years old, but he is not stupid. I think he knows that for some reason she is searching for money.
She discussed with him the plan to make me help support the household I think (that was 4 days ago on 20 January 2017). So far, instead of talking to me, I think he instructed her to find me a husband.
So far, my father who is not happy at all with me doing a job which doesn’t pay, said nothing about me helping to pay for the heating and the electricity, but it won’t take long before he does. He noticed that I work during the night and that I am awake and busy before he wakes up. In all the months that I have been with my parents, my father has never seen me in my pajamas or eating lunch.
So, given the enormous efforts, he expects that I would be earning some rewards for all this. He doesn’t believe in what I do or if I will ever make something of my life. Now, there is some hope, though, because he believes in what His Majesty in Morocco is doing. He only believes in him, and he is highly nervous with me. In his opinion, I am lazy and I don’t want to do anything at all. Yes, this is the man who never sees me in pajamas or eating lunch. He thinks negative because he is inspired by mom to think in this way about his children.
He is angry with me a lot, simply because that is easier to do than to get angry with my mother, who is still leading him by the nose. He is becoming so impatient and he is worried that I am not steering my life in the right direction. Sometimes I feel that he could hit if pushed to the edge. He needs very little to get this far with me. All I need to do is to argue on something little, such as the clothes that I am wearing (always in jeans), and there he goes. I have 5 trousers, and they look pretty much the same. He thinks that I have been wearing the same one all the time. He will take it as a lie if I tell him that I am wearing different trousers.
He believes that the clothes make the man or the woman. He is someone who likes chique clothing and he wants his children to look right. He doesn’t like it that I am wearing the scarf all the time. He used to see a different Naima. The years when I was wearing fashionable clothes correspond with the years when my mother was turning green of jealousy and thinking that I was up to doing something else, and not for going to work normally. In those years his view on me changed under the influence of my mother.
He continues to thread in the same vicious cycle of believing my mother somehow and of approaching me with prejudices. For him, my mother is right about me for as long as I am not showing something. He is so exasperated that he instructed her to find a husband for me. (Note that in our tradition the mother takes care of marrying her daughter and the father has little or no responsibility). I walked in the room unexpectedly when they were talking about it. I knew it was about me, and I heard my mother answering “it is difficult to find anybody”. My father answered “it is very very difficult”. If I were him, I would have asked “then what have you been doing all this time ?”, but he is not naughty enough.
I expect him to continue putting pressure on her to find a husband, and she might expose me to a new danger in this way through the mafia of Ina. He might give her the boot the day when she admits that she actually can’t cause two souls to marry. She will have to admit that she is not God the Almighty, who she thinks she is when it comes to the lives of the children.
Though, this time it is slightly different than in the past when I was young. My mother has always been given the benefit of the doubt that I will bring shame to the family. They think this easily when one is cute, as if it is a crime to look nice and to dress well, like I described above.
My mother expected me to bring shame to her family. As it takes too long for me to produce one for, she probably started plotting one herself. One attempt could be the fact that I was arrested for falsifying visas and passports. The second attempt was to lure me into a relationship with my nephew, which didn’t happen. It turns out that I haven’t brought any shame to the family, for so far… So the things don’t seem to go in the expected direction for my mother, who did her best to attract the worst trouble for me with the help of a murderer like Ina Valstar, and only out of jealousy. All she wants is to tell to my father “you see, I told you that she is a whore”, or “I told you she is no good”.
I think my father is going to be very surprised to discover the real whores inside his house. He will learn about it from a side that he never expected (from the government, I hope). There are at least 5 scandals in which my mother is involved and which will be revealed to him like one surprise after the other :
The first one is her conspiracy with Ina Valstar to get me into her Sheherazad sex lounge or on a boat, and perhaps to be fished up with chains around me, just like Denise Janssens, or like Renata Bura and Rachida Targali, who was found dead in a room in Antwerp “of overdose of heroine”.
My life will turn from the moment when Ina Valstar gets arrested. She was on the run in the Netherlands since 1983. I found her. I wouldn’t let her run around in freedom on more day. Compared with her, the Northern Ireland fighter had been interrogated twice already. That case is moving forward. Ina’s case has been too slow in my feelings. That is why I addressed a letter today to the Mayor of Antwerp, Mr Bart De Wever, to urge him to investigate Miss Ina Valstar in the context of international terrorism, and with more insights on her relation with people in the government.
When my father learns about Ina’s Valstar’s past, he is going to make mincemeat of my mother and her friend Ina. This is guaranteed. I have absolutely no doubt about this. The first thing which he will ask to my mother is “Is this why you don’t want our daughter to marry at all ?”
In fact, Ina didn’t come around our house, ever since I took the pictures of her on Christmas day, and ever since I sent the letter to the Dutch King and Queen on 29 December 2016. She is using the severe cold weather as a reason for not coming. The truth might be different which is that she is afraid of my father or that I will call the police to come and collect her.
The second scandal is that my mother conspired together with Ina to throw me in the prison the first time in 1990, and then a second time which didn’t materialize, because I stayed away from my parents.
The third scandal is the visa with which my nephew came to Belgium, which is likely a falsified one. Although we all survived the threat of landing in the prison, my father – who remembers filling out the form for the visa, will be very very surprised. He will look at my mother taking the risk landing the whole family in prison. That is not all, when he learns that it was a setup to get me into prison, he will never have respect for my mother again. This is how he is. For now, he has not much respect for me, given the failures that he believes come from me.
The fourth scandal is my nephew’s life. If he entered the Netherlands and he was able to become a Dutch national. He will lose the nationality. He should be sent back to Morocco. This is how it should be. I am asking the Kingdom of Holland to show to the mafia a clear rejection of their separate system of illegal practices. By being severe, they should cause the criminal system to fall apart. Without this example, illegal migration will continue. That is how I see it so get resolved.
When something happens to my nephew, my father will be held responsible for it by the rest of the family in Morocco. He signed the visa demand. Officially he brought him over. Mr Inerhmi’s mother will call my father for explanations. My father is not going to accept being seen as the one who ruined my nephew’s life. “You did that too !” he will tell to my mother, “you wanted to marry my daughter to a contraband !”.
The fifth scandal is the farmland. Things are not clear on who owns the land, and the financial pressure which my mother is experiencing might be coming from this side, but she is not telling the truth. My father prudently spoke to her about it, but she assured that none of fears he has are founded. I have no other idea of what the status is. Imagine if Ina gets arrested and my mother kept the contracts of the farmland at her place. Then my mother will seek help, most probably she will turn to my father.
One additional scandal which may rise during the investigations is that Ina Valstar and perhaps my mother too conspired about the problems which both my parents suffered with their housing. They destroyed the house in which my parents were previously living with many things still inside. I never received clear information about that case, all I heard my father say one day is that he thinks that the setup was coming from Brussels. He doesn’t mean me or my brother, so I don’t know who he means by “Brussels”. I think he will be surprised the day when he discover that it comes from closer, a lot closer to him than Brussels.
The biggest scandal of all is the discovery of the true reason which have led my brother and I to leave the parent’s house, or at least to come home for the weekends, which we stopped doing at some point. He will now understand where it was coming from. My mother and father will then understand what choosing a husband or a wife for someone else will lead to. It leads to total alienation of all the members of the family. It does not lead to building happy and healthy families.
If I had money, I would let the pressure on both of my parents continue until they speak the truth both of them. They will get small rewards for every piece of truth that they get out of their mouths. I will then ask them if they consider themselves Muslims still.
Naima Mouali
United Chambers of Commerce and Industry 